Naw'lins

The women sitting around me are all sitting in a circle.  We are in a dimly lit room that resembles a warehouse.  The smell is musty,  but the loud cheap perfume doesn't take away from the mildew scent.  The woman sitting to my left has on bright red lipstick that is also on her teeth.  Her short skirt is distracting me from looking at her fishnet stockings.  The woman on my right is smoking a cigarette while nursing her newborn baby.  I stand up from my chair and I say:
 Hello, my name is April.
*Hello, April*
I'm a terrible mother and I .......I took my kid to Bourbon Street.
*Gasps.... then one lady fainted*
This is the scene I have  imagined in my head.  I have a vivid imagination.  But yes it's true. Yes I took my kid, my sweet, innocent baby to Bourbon street.  My best advice to her was- "Don't step in any puddles" and   "Darling, that is a question only your father can answer. Go ask him."  I really think that it was a great experience.  She enjoyed it.  She looked at the "hobo's" as she likes to call them.  Then she informed everyone that a hobo was a man that had a beard and was dirty and stinky with no job and rode a bicycle - but sometimes they don't ride bicycles they just sit and look scary.  She's wise beyond her years.  I was going to take her into Marie Laveaus House of Voodoo  but they wouldn't let her in.  At first I thought it was because she was a child and they were protecting her eyes from seeing any evil entities or scary voodoo paraphernalia, but then the doorman/bouncer told me it was because she had a cookie and she looked like she would get crumbs everywhere and touch everything.  He was wise beyond his years.

We got lucky enough to see a St. Paddy's day parade. It was kind of short though. Well, I think it was a parade - it had men and women dressed in green tight short clothes throwing beads and grinning like fools.  Come to think of it I may have seen a "I'm the bachlorette -Shhhhhh don't tell my husband you saw me here"shirt on one of those girls. Oh well, Paige thought it was a parade. And she got some cool beads.  The most unusual thing we saw was a tall, frizzy, red headed woman in a dress.  No wait, it was a man in a dress.  You couldn't really tell until you got up kind of close to him and saw arm her hair.  This wasn't woman arm hair.  This was man hair.  The kind that was hairy.  Only testosterone grows this kind of hair.  She had lots of freckles so I'm assuming he was a true red head.  At least she was trying to fool people with a tacky platinum blonde dye job.  His face was painted completely white.  I'm not sure what that was about.  Maybe her razor was dull and she couldn't shave her face and had a 5 o'clock shadow.  Fortunately Paige didn't ask any questions when we saw him.   Other than - Why does that man have on a dress and have his face painted white?

'Til Tomorrow

*post script- I actually had a wonderful time in New Orleans. I absolutely loved every single minute I was there and we did do some fun unbad stuff.... it just wasn't as funny!

*post post script- Check out the poll on the right hand side and be sure to vote.... IT'S NEW!

*post post post script - Just kidding! I'm done!