There are just so many things in life we take for granted. I am as guilty as anyone. Especially since I have become "with child". I've officially began my final and fantastic 3rd trimester. The excitement is growing and so is my belly. With that said.... I can't remember the last time I was able to bend over and pick something up without it needing to be announced, a wardrobe adjustment, someone to monitor the situation, and an enormous groan. It's quite the dog and pony show. Do you know how many times a person drops something during the normal course of a day? Two. Do you know how many times a pregnant person drops something? Eight hundred and fifty seven. Now, not only have I been missing the ability to pick up trash and not just kick it near the trash can and then wait for someone to come along and accuse them of missing the trash can and guilt them into picking it up, but I've also been missing having a full functioning bladder. I'll tell you my favorite thing of all time is to feel as if I will explode at any given moment and knock anyone (children, old people, blind, deaf - I don't care) out of the way, only to discover that I can only muster a thimble full out. Then we do that at least 8 more times in the hour. There's not like you actually have anything else to do. Like work. But if you think your bladder isn't working - just sneeze. That will seem to empty it faster than you can think "Shazam! I'm going to sneeze!". Not every time you sneeze will you be incontinent, just when you have on the good pants. Or when you're in the grocery store and you have on pants. Or when you sneeze and laugh at the same time. Or when you sneeze. People everywhere are just sneezing away not aware that that tiny little instinctually act will put the fear of God in any pregnant woman who is at the wrong place at the wrong time. I am pretty sure the Good Lord has a sense of humor, because this is funny stuff. Who else would give a woman the dropsies (supposedly this is caused by a hormone that loosens our joints so that our pelvis, when time to give birth, will give way and the children can just walk out) then give her such a huge abdomen that she can't bend over? It's hysterical. Speaking of bending over I haven't really tied my shoes in a real bow in months now. Don't get me wrong I could, but I just like this life sustaining stuff I like to call oxygen. It really helps a person to breath and whenever I bend over to tie my shoe the supply is cut off. I used to be afraid of spiders, but now I'm afraid of tying my own shoes for fear I may pass out from lack of O2 and become brain damaged. But I'm okay, I'll not be able to see my shoes in a few weeks and then I just won't even care. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, I'm just speaking the truth. The truth we all know is true. Which is the best kind of truth. I know this will end soon and I'm not taking that for granted, so for now I'll laugh. And try not to bend over. Or sneeze. And maybe get some slip on shoes.
Til Tomorrow!
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